Releasing the Hurt
by Flamewhisper
Summary: What if Bella found another way to deal with the pain of Edward leaving? What if it put her in harms way? Could Edward save her in time? Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**Releasing the Hurt**

By Flamewhisper

**Summary: What if Bella found another way to deal with the pain of Edward leaving? It was not something that she would normally do, but it really did help. What happens when her actions put her in harm's way? Will Edward be able to save her?**

**Rated T: For dark subject matter and mild language.**

**I do not own anything, but the plot for this story. **

_"You don't want me?" she asked, somehow her voice was not shaking. _  
_"No," he said; face unreadable, like a marble statue. _  
_"I guess that changes things."_  
_"Good bye, Bella." He kissed her on the forehead and then he was gone._  
_She stood in the perfectly silent forest for a moment or two, before she took off running. "Edward..."_

Bella's own screams pulled her from the dream. She sat up in bed gasping for air. It was better this time, as she was not still screaming, which was normally the case. As her thoughts turned to her dream, Bella buried her head in the pillow on the bed and started sobbing. No matter what happened, whether she was awake or sleeping, she was constantly reminded that he was gone. It had been two weeks since they had left and it was not getting any easier. After what seemed like forever, she stopped crying. She sat up, pushed her hair out of her face and rubbed her tear stained eyes. She looked around her small, cluttered room. Bella's eyes rested on her computer and an idea came to her. She walked over to her computer and powered it up. Although she did not know what had given her the idea, it seemed like a good one. She decided that she would write to Alice. Surely, the vampire that called her a sister had not given up on her. Bella was certain that if she sent Alice an e-mail, that the black haired pixie would write her back. 'She'll let me know that my past life with them was not a dream," Bella thought as the opened her e-mail program. She quickly typed out a short e-mail to her best friend.

_Dear Alice, _

_I can't believe that you had to leave. It is so hard to be here without you, without him. I hope you are all happy where you are now, where ever it may be. Alice, please write back. Let me know everything that is going on. Let me know that it really did happen._

She pressed the send button and then looked at the clock. The numbers 5, 3, 0 glowed up at her, from the digital clock. '5:30' she thought. 'School is in two hours. Great another day of hell.' No sooner than the thought was complete, her computer dinged. Bella looked up not really sure what to expect.

**Message Failed**

Her heart sunk as she clicked on the return e-mail and skimmed the message.

_We're sorry but this message could not be delivered, e-mail address is not authentic. _

That sent Bella into another batch of tears. They really were gone.

* * *

_Dear Alice, October 12_

_I don't know why I keep writing to you. I know that you are not getting my messages. Alice, it feels like there is a hole eating its way through my heart. I don't know how much longer I can survive. More and more, I think that you were just a dream, like the ones that haunt me every night. I don't know how much longer I can take this Alice._

_Dear Alice, October 25_

_Is it possible to die of a broken heart? To just fade way without the one you love in your life. I do. You might not agree with me, but Alice you don't have to live with the throbbing, aching pain. You don't have to live knowing, what you had, what could have been your future, and then having it all taken away. Think about it, what if Jasper told you that he no longer loves you and left. What you want? I think it is the same thing that I want now. The peacefulness of death, after the hell that I have been living through. _

_Dear Alice, November 21_

_Things don't seem so bad any more. Why? I don't know I can't really explain it. The dreams still haunt me at night and the memories during the day, but they are manageable. It all started two days ago, when I was cooking for Charlie._

_I was cutting fish for his favorite dish. I was not really paining attention, because the hole in my heart was tearing away at me, widening. It took me a few moments to realize that I had cut my hand. By the time I did, the counter was bright red, covered in my spilling blood. I dropped the knife and moved to the sink. As I did so, I noticed that the pain in my hand had overridden the ache of my heart. I paused, taking in the peace that I felt. Just them Charlie rushed in. He saw my bleeding hand and came over, turning on the cold water and pulling my hand under the stream. I watched as the blood was washed off. As it swirled with the water, before running down the drain. Then the salty, rusty smell started getting to me and I pulled my hand out and wrapped a towel around it. _

_It took me forever to convince Charlie that I was fine. I am fine. I am better. What does it mean Alice?_

_

* * *

_

She looked down at the razor sharp blade in her hand. Bella had been keeping the knife hidden in her room for a little over a month now. She laid the gleaming blade down on her bed and pulled up her right sleeve. She was right handed, but tonight called for a change. She needed more, if she was going to make it through Christmas without him. Before Bella picked up her knife, she glanced down at her left arm. Underneath the gray sweatshirt sleeve, she knew that there 15 or so scars.

She had started cutting on Thanksgiving. The first few cuts were weak, timid, but they had done the job. They had helped to release all of the pain that was pent up inside. That did not work anymore. Quickly the little cuts did not do their job, so Bella started cutting deeper. Those were the cuts that started leaving pale scars. Secretly she as thankful that it was winter. She could wear long sleeves and no one would have to know.

Her heart was already racing, as she thought about what she had already done. Even though it was currently throbbing, it was like her heart knew what was going to happen and for a moment it would be healed. Bella reached down and picked up the deadly silver blade and placed it to her skin. Her body reacted, shivering at the comforting touch. She sunk the tip of the blade into her human arm just above the elbow. Normally her cuts were much shorter, but she needed this to be more. Tomorrow was Christmas and she wanted to be cheerful for Charlie. To be happier, she had to let the sad out.

Bella sighed as she pulled the knife down her arm and the pungent smell of her blood hit her nose. It used to make her sick, but not the smell of blood was comforting. She closed her eyes and the pain was released from her heart and moved to her arm. After what felt like seconds she could feel the pain leaving her, flowing out with the bright red blood. Bella sighed. She pulled the knife quickly the rest of the way down her arm, making sure the cut stop just short of her palm. She opened her eyes and looked at what she had down. Her sweat shirt sleeve had slipped a little and was already being soaked with her blood, as were her sweat pants. Bella's heart sunk for a moment when she saw all of the blood. She quickly realized why she felt none of the pain any more. 'I've cut too deep, I'm going to die.'

As quickly as the sorrow came however, it left. "This is right," she said quietly. "I finally feel like he never existed the pain is gone. Now I must no long exist." She smiled. Death was right; it had been her destiny since James tried to kill her. Even this was right, death by blood loss. 'I should write Alice,' she thought, 'and explain.' Bella slowly moved to the side of her bed and got to her feet. She swayed slightly and had to wait until she was steady enough to walk over to her computer. She sat down in the chair exhausted. Her computer was still running and she opened her email. While she waited she pulled out two letters: one to Renee and Charlie the other to... to him. She had thought about death before and wrote these when she almost killed herself about a week after he left. Something stopped her then, but now the time was right.

Bella looked away from the letters and at her computer. It was ready. Her click the new message button and started typing with her left hand.

_Alice,_

_It has been about a month since I last wrote you. Alice, I'm dying. Tell him thank you for a few wonderful months and tell him to not do anything stupid. He does not need to feel guilty for not loving me anymore. _

She was growing light headed, but still had strength enough to send the message. She closed her eyes allowing the peace of feeling nothing to fill her. Peace was the only thing that she could feel, everything else was draining out. Her pain, her happiness, her love for Edward. All of it was leaving. Bella's peace was interrupted by a ding of her computer. She looked at it, expecting to see the normal failure message, but this time it was an actual reply from Alice. She opened the message.

_Keep fighting Bella for Edward. I promise he loves you._

"No," Bella whispered. "He doesn't" She closed her eyes again, ready for death to come.

"I do love you," a voice in her mind said. She smiled, even though he was lying and not real, the voice of her angel was a comfort. She felt something cool touch her arm. The cold radiated outward from her cut. Then the cold feeling moved to her cheek. "Bella, open your eyes." She did as the voice commanded. Everything was burly, but she saw to black orbs looking back at her. "I promise that I love you. And I won't let you die."

Before she could process the words, the orbs before her were gone and Bella felt a sharp pain in her neck. She gasped, as fire and feeling flooded her body. She could barely feel the sweet coolness that touched where the fire had begun. The burning was spreading moving toward her head, her left arm, moving down her back, but so was the numbness that claimed her bleeding arm. Both held sway over her body and she was not sure which to give into. The fire that was now consuming her in pain far worse than anything she had ever felt or the numbness that was already filling her mind. She felt ice on her cheeks and leaned into the feeling.

"Bella, look at me," the voice of her angle said again. The voice that had brought with it the icy fire of that had to be from hell. She looked in the direction of the voice and found herself again staring into black orbs. "Fight for me. Don't give up. I love you and a life without you is pointless."

"But, death is what I want now," she whispered. The numbness and fire were still battling for the control of her mind and it made it hard to think. "Angel, why do you want to keep me live in a living hell? Any life after death would be heaven compared to living without him."

There was a shuddering breath from the angel who was now holding her. "Oh god, Bella. I did not mean to hurt you so much. Please live, make the change. Give me eternity to show you my love. I'm giving you want to want, forever with me or forever without me. Just don't die."

The numbness was winning its battle for her body. It was spreading from her right side and making its way back to her heart. But the fire was not giving up. "All I wanted was his love, Angel."

"And I give it. Bella please, stop calling me Angel. I am not an angel; I am a demon, stealing your soul, so that I don't have to live in a world without you. Bella, look at me. It's me, Edward." Edward placed hand under her chin and tilted it up. He looked into her brown eyes and saw only the cloudiness of death already collecting in them.

"Edward," Bella gasped her voice catching. "Edward, I love you, but I can let you go now. I am ready to move on." The numbness had reached her heart and she was okay with it and the peace that it brought. "You must keep living Edward. That is what you can do for me." She took a shaky breath, and then her remaining strength gave out.

Edward caught her as she fell, easily pick her up. He listened to the sound of her heart, only to hear a very slow, fading thump. He laid her on the bed, and a few moments later all was quiet. "No," Edward screamed, his voice caught between anger and anguish. The sound awoke Charlie in the next room. Edward heard the shuffling of his feet as he came to Bella's room. Edward thought quickly about what to do. He picked up the two letters that he had seen on Bella's desk and stuck them in a pocket with his own. Then he sat down beside his love.

Charlie pushed the door open, "Bells, you okay," he called into the room. Charlie looked in the room and saw Edward sitting beside her. "What are you doing here," he asked voice, dripping with hate.

"Saying good bye," Edward replied, his voice dead.

"Haven't you done enough damage," Charlie said coldly, "she was just starting to get better." He took a few steps forward. _That boy needs to get the hell away from my daughter, _he thought. He could not see Bella for Edward was blocking his view. As if responding to Charlie's unspoken request, Edward got up from the bed, moving out of way. Charlie's eyes locked on his daughter and he saw the blood stained clothing. He moved to her side and touched two fingers to her neck feeling for her pulse. When he found none, he started CPR. "What the HELL did you do to her," he bellowed.

"I tried to stop her. To save her."

"I don't care, just call 911."

Edward wanted to say that it was pointless, but he did as he was told. He pulled out his phone, and listened to the forced beats of Bella's heart. He pressed the nine, when he heard the grinding sound of the venom reaching her heart. "It can't be." He erased the nine and dialed Carlisle. He knew that the venom had healing powers but could it be possible. He listened as Charlie continued the compressions. The heart beat began to grow stronger and Bella gasped in pain. "Get here fast," he said when Carlisle answered, "Bella needs help. She's changing."

Bella's lips parted in a scream. The fire was now rushing though every part of her body.

"Bella, honey, what's wrong." Charlie asked touching her, cheek.

Bella heard the voice, but did not know how to make her voice respond; besides the pain was more than she could take.

Edward walked up. "Charlie, you need to leave."

"No, I don't. This is my home."

"It will be the best for you. I know that you have known my family is different. Bella is becoming like us. It was the only way to save her. You don't want to be here. My family is coming; we'll take care of her."

"What is she becoming? What is your family?"

"I can't tell you, it is against our laws, but your thoughts are right."

Charlie was speechless. He had no clue what to say or do. He looked to his daughter again. There was a knock at the door.

"Up here, Carlisle." Edward called. Barely five seconds pass, before Carlisle joined them in Bella's room.

"Charlie," he said walking over to the only human in the room. "I know that this is hard for you, but you will see her again. Go back to bed and in the morning, call the police and say that Bella has disappeared. She will be fine; we will take care of her." He helped Charlie stand. "Get Bella. Alice was on her way her; she should be here with a car soon. I'll meet you down stairs." He escorted Charlie out of the room.

Edward walked over and picked Bella's body. She was now hot to his touch. "It will be okay, my Love."

"I know," Bella whispered.

**A/N - What do you think? Should I write and follow up story?**


	2. Alternate Ending

_**Summary – What if Bella found another way to deal with the pain of Edward leaving?**_

_**Rated T – for subject matter**_

_**A/N – I don't own Twilight or any of the characters, they are Stephanie Meyers. The idea for the Dear Alice letters came from the movie of New Moon. Nor do I own "Romeo and Juliet"; the two quotes used belong to William Shakespeare. **_

* * *

_November 11_

_Dear Alice, _

_How are you? How is he? Are you happy where ever you are? Will you even read this e-mail? _

_Alice, the hole in my heart aches all the time. I can almost deal with the days, but nights are the worst. The pain and the dreams, it is more than I can bear. I wake up screaming every night because in my dreams, like on the night that he left, I am utterly alone in the forest. I know that he is in the forest somewhere, but he is not with me. He left me. He left. _

_November 18_

_Dear Alice,_

_I know that you are not reading these e-mails. I get the failure to send messages with each one that I write. I wish that you would read them and write back. Even if you told me to stop writing, at least I would know that you are real. I feel like I am going crazy. Every day it seems more likely that the short bittersweet time I spent with all of you was just a dream._

_November 30_

_Dear Alice,_

_Something happened today Alice. I am not sure if it is good or bad, but it made me feel. I felt pain, but at the same time it was a release. I was cutting chicken to fix Charlie for dinner and I cut my hand. It took a while for me to realize that the pain was not in my chest but my hand. I looked at it and there was already blood all over the counter. I had to hold my breath, the smell, made me sick. As I ran the cool water over my bleeding hand I watched the blood go down the drain. It was enchanting, the way that it mixed with the water. I pulled my hand out and watch the bright red liquid collect in the cut before it began to spill over onto my hand. I could feel my heart beat in my hand and the pain seemed to pulse with it. For once, the pain caused by the throbbing hole in my heart seemed to lessen. For that moment everything seemed okay._

* * *

**BPOV**

I pick up the knife and study its sharp edge. The point gleams in the light of my bedroom lamp. Charlie is already in bed, like always. I never do this when he was awake. I roll up the left sleeve of my shirt. It is so easy to hide the scars in winter. No one questions why I only wear long sleeved shirts, although no one talks to me any more. There are so many scars on my arms, some thin lines -those are the oldest, others thicker - the newer ones. While others still are not yet scars, but simply scabbed over cuts.

I place the cool knife blade against my skin and take a deep breath. I feel the sharp point as it cuts through my human skin. I gasp as the pain floods through my arm. As I continue to pull the blade down my arm toward my wrist, I watch as the blood comes to the surface. And as it does, like every day in the past, the hole in my chest stops throbbing a little. I pull the blade away, when it reaches the palm of my hand and just watch the blood. It is so beautiful. I am no longer bothered by the smell; in fact, it has come to be a comfort to me.

It is then I notice the blood is spilling out way to fast. And I realize that I have cut too deep. When most people would feel frighten, I feel a sense of peace come over me. The pain in my chest has all but faded. My arm is covered in blood and I come to the realization that I am going to die. I had thought about death before, but now that I have no choice, it seems like death has been the right choice all along. I won't have to remember him or any of the Cullens and I can stop hurting the other people in my life.

I have a feeling that I should write Alice one last e-mail explaining and look to my computer. It is humming softly in the dim light of my room. When I stand everything grows dim and the world spins. I have to wait for the light headed feeling to pass before I can get to my computer. I move the mouse and the screen comes to life already opened to my e-mail, as if it knew this was coming. My left arm is too weak, so I type the message with my right hand.

_12/30_

_Alice,_

_It has been a month since I have written and this will be the last time I write. I am sure that you have seen this, my death, by now. Tell Edward that I don't blame him, because this was not his fault. Tell him that I love him. Tell him that he must stay alive._

As I am finishing the e-mail, the fog in my head grows thick making it hard to do anything. I look down at my bleeding arm. It is red with blood and my clothes are soaked a bright scarlet. I look back at the computer and click the send button. I glance around my desk for the letters. I had written a goodbye letter to Charlie and Renee when he had first left. I find the envelopes, when my computer chimes. I look up thinking that it is the normal, failure to send message that I normally get when I send an e-mail to Alive. But it is not. This is an actual reply. I open the message.

_Don't do this to Edward._

My eyes can only focus on the one word. Edward. I hold back a laugh. Edward left me and now I am leaving him. I would have felt guilty, but all feeling for him, Edward, was draining from my body with my blood. For cutting, while it released the hurt it also helped to release everything that when along with the pain.

As the last reserves of my energy drain, I rest my head in my right hand and wait for the end to come. Black spots start to form in front of my eyes as my vision begins to fail. Then as if granting my final wish for life, I hear the voice of my angel.

"Bella, no." It is his voice, but it more real than a memory should be. "Don't leave me." I don't say anything I just listen to it, eyes closed picturing his face. Then I feel cloth being pulled tightly around my arm. I slowly open my eyes and look up to see him kneeling before me. Although I cannot really see him, but I know that it is my angel is with me now.

"I love you, Edward," I tell him, my voice barely above a whisper. Before I can comprehend what has happened I am on my bed.

"I won't let you leave me," I hear him say, before he presses his cool lips to my throat. I feel his teeth sink in to my neck. The pain explodes and radiates outward, but it is nothing compared to the feeling in my arm. He kisses the bite, cooling it down.

"Edward," I say, "it's too late."

"No," he whispers, picking me up in his arms. "It can't be." His broken voice is the last thing that I hear, and then all at once everything goes dark and silent. The only thing left is the fading burn of the bite.

**EPOV**

"No," I whisper in her ear, and pick her up her up. "It can't be." Then the light fades from her beautiful brown eyes. I listen as her heart moves slower and slower until it stops. "No!" My mind races through thoughts I hoped I would not have to think again for many years.

Then Bella's computer chimes and my cell phone rings at the same time. I look at the computer as I pull out my phone. An e-mail from Alice. I know what it will say.

_Don't do it Edward. You will hurt the family. _

I look at my phone. Alice. I crush the small device in my hand and toss it across the room. I will not live without her. I can not live without her. I place Bella's body gently back on the bed, when I hear the shuffling of feet. Charlie. I had not meant to wake him up. I had not even thought about him.

"Bells," calls his gruff voice. The door creaks open and he looks in. I make no effort to move, I just sit by her side. "What are you doing here," Charlie asked his voice livid.

"Saying goodbye," I whispered.

"Get out," Charlie growled. _Dang boy. Thinks he can just come back here. Bella was just starting to get better._ His thoughts and words were cut short, when he saw his daughter. "Bella?" He rushed to the bedside.

"She already gone," I told him. I could feel his thoughts try and make sense of what I had said.

Out of my peripheral vision I watch him look at her face, eyes closed as if she were sleeping, then at her arm, covered in drying blood. "Oh, Bella. Why did you do this?" His voice was but a faint whisper. Then he turned on me. "This is your fault. You had better leave, before I get my gun."

I turned to face him standing up. "You are right, this is my fault. I should have never left her. I don't plan on leaving her again. And don't worry about killing me, I can handle that myself." He took a step backward as the force of my words hit him. "Get out of the house, Charlie. I don't want to be responsible for your death too." He did not move, he just stood there mouth open. His thoughts were scrambled, as if he tried to decide if I was indeed planning suicide or not. When he did not move, I picked him up and rushed out of the house. I placed him down in the woods, not too far, but a good five minute human paced jog away from the house. I toss him my jacket before running back.

The Swan house is heated by propane gas, for which I am grateful. On my way up to Bella's room, I cut on all of the propane heaters and remove the lines allowing the gas to leak into the house. I reach her room and sit down on the bed. Were it not for the strong smell of blood and not being able to hear her heart beat, I would have thought that she was merely sleeping.

"Arms, take your last embrace! And, lips, O you the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss a dateless bargain to engrossing death!" The words of Romeo fall so easily from my lips as I look down at my beloved Juliet, who is never to awaken again. I pick her up and cradle her in my arms. Her skin is cool and for once since meeting her I wished that I had given her what she wanted. I lean down and kiss her one last time; then pull the lighter in my pocket.

Charlie's POV

Bella gone. Those words are the only thing that played in my mind as I stood in the woods. I would have stood there for hours, had it not been for the explosion. I took off through the woods, towards my home. When I reached the edge of the forest, I saw the fire that was once my home. "No!" the cry was ripped from my lips. Bella was gone.

"_**For never was a story of more woe, than this of Juliet and her Romeo."  
**_

_**A/N – A bit darker. Yes. Hit the next button to find out more.  
**_


	3. What Alice Saw

_**Alternate Ending Chapter Two - What Alice Saw****  
**_

_Alice's POV_

"Tell me again, why are we leaving?" I asked Carlisle of the phone as I rode with Jasper to our other home, the one in Alaska.

"People are beginning to notice that Esme and I are not aging as we should. You know as well as I do that it is time to move on to another town," Carlisle told me for the umpteenth time. I know I was getting on all of their nerves, but I could not really understand that a lack of wrinkles was the only reason we were leaving.

Then the scene changed and I was standing in the woods. I could see my brother and Bella.

"You don't want me anymore," I heard Bella whisper.

"No," Edward said. His voice was cold and his face was blank, but I knew he was lying.

Someone touched my arm and I was again sitting in the car beside Jasper. The phone which I had been using to talk to Carlisle was still in my hand and I could hear Carlisle voice on the other end, calling my name.

"Bella is not coming with us," I hissed once I returned the phone to my ear. "He is just leaving her behind?"

"Yes," Carlisle replied. I could detect a slight bit of sorrow and disappointment in his voice. "He is. I told him that he should give her the option to come, but he is adamant about her moving on without us. As much as I disagree with him, I will respect his wish. And you will too Alice. I don't want you getting involved in any way." I snapped the phone shut and opened it again dialing Edward's number. His phone rang and rang. The recording clicked on telling me how to leave a message. I snapped the phone shut again and opened it to text him, when Jasper reached over and placed a hand on mine.

"Alice, stop," he whispered and a calming sensation wrapped around me. "This is not something that you should get involved in." I sighed and dropped the phone on the phone on the floor of the car.

"He is making a mistake," I muttered.

"You know that and I know that, but Edward needs to learn that."

**~~~~~ Two months later ~~~~~~~**

I was sitting the living room of the house that Jasper and I shared, reading a book when the first the visions came. I was looking over some one's shoulder at a computer screen. I quickly read the words in the e-mail.

_November 11_

_Dear Alice, _

_How are you? How is he? Are you happy where ever you are? I wonder if you will even read this e-mail. Alice, the hole in my heart aches all the time. I can almost deal with the days, but nights are the worst. The pain and the dreams, it is more than I can bear. I wake up screaming every night because in my dreams, like on the night that he left, I am utterly alone in the forest. I know that he is in the forest somewhere, but he is not with me. He left me. He left._

It was an e-mail to me from Bella. I knew that it was a mistake to leave her.

"Jasper," I called out, much louder than was need for my vampire husband to hear me. In an instant, he was by my side, with paper and a pen. I was still staring at the computer screen, at the message Bella was going to write me. I took the pen and wrote it. Word for word. As part of my _staying out of Edward's business_, I had promised not to contact Bella.

When the vision ended, I looked at Jasper. "He is making a mistake. Our leaving is killing her." I thrust the e-mail into his hand, knowing that he had already read it.

"Alice," Jasper said, "I know that Bella was your friend, but you need to help your brother. No matter what you think he is doing wrong, these are his choices. Bella is human, after a while, this will fade. Getting involved will only hurt her more." He laid the paper down and touched my cheek. "I know that you care for them and want to help, that is one of the things that I love about you, but this is something that you cannot really fix.

I sighed, knowing he was right but not wanting to accept it. He leaned down and kissed me. "If you get any more of these visions, let me know. If Bella gets worse, we will talk to Carlisle about it."

The visions did not stop; more came, each was the same as the first. An e-mail written to me. Most of them seemed to be along the same lines as the first. I wrote each one down and kept them all together. I know she was hurting, but Jasper and I decided after reading each one that she was not getting worse, even though she did not seem to be improving.

Then one day I saw one that was different than the rest.

_November 30_

_Dear Alice,_

_Something happened today Alice. I am not sure if it is good or bad, but it made me feel. I felt pain, but at the same time it was a release. I was cutting chicken to fix Charlie for dinner and I cut my hand. It took a while for me to realize that the pain was not in my chest but my hand. I looked at it and there was already blood all over the counter. I had to hold my breath, the smell, made me sick. As I ran the cool water over my bleeding hand I watched the blood go down the drain. It was enchanting, the way that it mixed with the water. I pulled my hand out and watch the bright red liquid collect in the cut before it began to spill over onto my hand. I could feel my heart beat in my hand and the pain seemed to pulse with it. For once, the pain caused by the throbbing hole in my heart seemed to lessen. For that moment everything seemed okay._

"Jasper" I called. I had gotten used to these visions, so I always had paper nearby. He came into the room and I gave him the latest e-mail. He quickly read it.

"That is quite different," he murmured, "and this will happen tomorrow."

"What should we do," I asked.

"What is there to do? It is going to be an accident. We can't protect her any more. Accidents happen. Besides Bella is resilient, she will be fine; if she can survive James, I am sure that she can survive a cut."

"You are right; I just worry about her a lot. I am afraid of what Edward would do if she were to die."

Jasper just nodded, we had gone through this conversation many times. "I am going to put this with the others. There is nothing that we can do to prevent an accident."

He walked out of the room. It was times like these that I really hated being able to see the future. While it really helped at times, I did not want to be always clued into my family. Not to mention it start a number of fights between Jasper and me. He is my confident, I tell him everything that I see and he helps me decide what to do. We often see different sides of things, like now. If I were not able to see the future, then things would be easier.

I got up from the chair and walked out of the living room, in to the office where I knew he would be. He turned when I walked in and a moment later I was by his side my arms wrapped around him. "Thank you so much for helping me." He slid his arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. I felt him lean over and kiss the top of my head.

"You know that I would do anything for you, Alice," he whispered. I felt calmer, as I always did in his arms.

The visions of the e-mails stopped after the one about Bella cutting herself while cooking. I don't really know what happened; it was as if she just fell off the edge of the world. Aside from visions about my family, I would only get flashes of things. A knife and blood. But never more than that. It was all rather puzzling, until a few days after Christmas.

Another vision came and I was finally able to piece together what was happening.

_12/30_

_Alice,_

_It has been a month since I have written and this will be the last time I write. I am sure that you have seen this, my death, by now. Tell Edward that I don't blame him, because this was not his fault. Tell him that I love him. Tell him that he must stay alive._

"Jasper," I cried. I could hear my voice reverberate around the house. I had her last e-mail written down by the time Jasper was there. I pulled out my phone and quickly dialed Edward's number.

"I thought you said you would not interfere," Jasper said before reading the note. He looked to me. "Have you seen her death?"

"Not really," I said. "I have only been seeing blood." Then is dawned on me. "Jasper, Bella has been cutting herself. I have only been seeing a knife and blood. I don't see her doing it because; she does not make the choice until she actually cuts herself." I heard the message for leaving a voice mail on Edward's phone. Sometimes technology could be so slow. Jasper had already started calling family. I heard the beep. "Edward, get to Bella. You need to do this or she will die."

I started to call again, when Jasper hung up with someone. "Mom and dad are in Canada, closer to New York still. I think Rose and Emmett are still in Ireland. There is no way that we can there in time."

I nodded as the phone rang again. This time Edward answered. I told him what had happened. Immediately, I started getting flashes of him in Italy. "No, Edward you must not think like that." The line went dead. "I am going to call Charlie, maybe he can stop her."

"What are you going to tell him? Hey this is Alice. Sorry we left and ruined Bella's life. I just wanted you to know that I think she is cutting herself, because I am psychic." I glared at Jasper, but he did have a point. There was no way that Charlie would believe me. I crossed my arms. There was nothing else that I could do.

I thought of something. I could e-mail Bella back. She would stop then. I rushed to the office and hacked into the e-mail provider. Then I reestablished my e-mail account. I was slowed by the speed of the internet, but had completed my task quickly. I opened the account and saw that the e-mail was already there. I replied. _Don't do this to Edward. _After that, all I could do was to wait and watch my brother's different ideas for suicide. Then he settled on one.

I tossed my phone to Jasper. It was already calling Edward's phone. "He's going to kill himself. He must have gotten there too late." I typed and e-mail to him. _Don't do it Edward. You will hurt the family. _I pressed send and stated to pray.

"The line is dead," Jasper said. "I will keep trying." I nodded; hoping that Edward to not do this, but all the while, the explosion in my mind kept playing. Each time was more defined than the last. Then it all stopped, for just a moment there was nothing. Then I saw the news broadcast. Two teens killed in house explosion.

"He's gone," I whispered. I heard the phone shatter behind me. Jasper wrapped his arms around me. "We have to the others."

A/N – I want to know what you think. Good bad or otherwise.


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